Given my current age and relationship status, people are consistently questioning me on my feelings towards having children. The answer is very simple. Why would I have a baby when I could have a dog instead?
Here are a few reasons why that is a far better choice.
1. Dogs can stay home alone without a babysitter.
2. You do not have to pay for a dog to go to college.
3. Dogs don't start hating you when they reach adolescence.
4. You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars each year on clothing for a dog (unless you want to dress them up like a T-rex, and even then the most it will cost is like, $20)
5. If all you do with your dog is sit around and watch TV, no one calls you a horrible person.
6. If your dog sees you doings something some would deem "scandalous" such as going to the bathroom, dancing in your underwear, or binge eating an entire cake, it does not scar them for life or even a day, they won't care in the least.
7. A dog is happy to go outside. Just even just outside the door. It is literally the best thing ever for them. A Kid could not care less even if the outside was filled with rainbows and unicorns.
8. No one gets sick of looking at puppy pictures. At least no one I care to know.
9. You can use your dog as a personal foot toaster when your sitting on the couch. That would be frowned upon if it were a child.
10. You can't lovingly call your kid shit monster and not eventually have to deal with child services. Even if you mean it in the most loving way.
11. The chances that my dogs will ever steal my car and all my credit cards and run away to Las Vegas for a weekend of hookers and blow are slim to none. A Kid could though...I mean once they were old enough to do know what those things are.
12. Dogs will love you forever. You are their everything. Kids will love you as long as you pay for Wifi...maybe.
13. My dogs are always around when I need them. They literally cannot leave without me. Kids can do whatever they want and go as they wish. That is the law.
14. You only have to buy your dog one type of food and its as though you are a gourmet chef every day they are just so excited to eat anything.
15. Kids turn into adults. Puppies turn into Dogs. Adults are dicks. Dogs are amazing.
End of Story.
That's not even all the reasons. I could go on for years. Leave a comment on what your best reason is.