When I need to do something that is for my own good, I tend to just... not.
We were hosting a Halloween gathering of sorts, and instead of figuring out a costume, I thought of EVERY costume I could do if I had enough time and instead ignored this years plans. Luckily for me, my last minute costume worked out. I found a captains hat and my ghetto homemade captain's cardigan allowed my to become the Undead Captain of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Yes, like the Gordon Lightfoot song.
Why? Because Dave insisted on being the Edmund Fitzgerald and I needed a costume. The options were, be a captain which is fine and can do fun things with that, or Dave's suggestion: Be a Shoal. AKA the rocks on the bottom of the ocean they suspect caused the Edmund Fitzgerald to sink. I went with captain.
Crystal helped me craft a boat, and watched me put on my new and improved eyebrows for like.. twenty minutes. I enjoyed having enormous eyebrows. I think I might just do it for fun now. Hello next family pictures look!
Now, as for my last few days where have I been? Attempting to write and then distracting myself with absolutely nothing. Like, I have found myself staring at dead bug smudges on the wall instead of writing. Oh Nanowrimo, every year I think I will go into and be super awesome at it, and yet every year it reminds me that my brain is a weird place.
I am only on chapter 2 and my plan is already completely off track. I have no idea what's going to happen now. I am a little afraid. It got weird. But I think it will be... fine. I mean that's why you never publish the first draft. I like one of my characters little quirks though. He likes to call the main character a different type of cheese every time he addresses her. I am running out of cheese types though.
I need to get back to writing, but I hope you all are well. Stick with me and hopefully I will get back on track updates wise!
There are people in the world who criticize you for being nerdy. That is a pretty well known fact. But do you non-nerds know that there are just as many people criticizing and evaluating you because you aren't nerdy enough?
(I decided to put a break because it got long a little rantier than usual. I apologize.)
Two of my favourite shows have announced they are doing a crossover episode this season. New Girl and Brooklyn Nine Nine. Two amazingly funny and witty and wonderful sit coms that brighten my day when I watch them. Some of these characters are perhaps some of my favourite characters to ever be written into a show. Here are a few of the interactions I am most excited for. Thank you Crystal for helping me figure these out!
Winston & Charles
It took me half a second to figure out how they would even cross them over, but then I remembered that cat-lover/fruity drink enthusiast Winston is now a cop. Granted they are in LA but who knows how this cross over will take place. Maybe Winston the cat-lover will either bond or conflict with Dog-obsessed Charles. Both are the ridiculous best friend of the handsome main character, and both just steal the show with their one liners.
CECE & ROSA
Cece may not be quite as hardcore as Rosa, but I think she might want to pretend to be. Maybe she will try to be as cool and badass and something will go wrong. We know that Cece used to have a motorcycle, maybe her and Rosa can go cruise together. Maybe Rosa secretly was a model back in the day with Cece? That would be a twist.
I don't know how, when, or why this is happening, but needless to say I am beyond thrilled about it.
When you are an adult, you can spend your money on very important things. Important things like Googly Eyes. To do important things like stick them onto books and pictures around the house.
Also, adulthood means spending the entire evening trying to get pictures you took with googly eye'd characters to load onto your website. #ADULTLIFE
Do you ever wonder why the dinosaurs went extinct? Well, lucky for you you have a world class scientist on your team to teach you what happened all those millions of years ago.
Where did the Dinosaurs Go?
So the dinosaurs were all hanging out, unlike the other scientists thought, in a large group as they cooked up their dinners. Each a little bit judgemental about the others choices. The Brachiosauruses and the Triceraptops watching in fear as the raptors split apart their meat, likely from a friend of theirs. But they knew was that they new it was survival of the fittest, and luckily they had a long standing alliance with the Raptors. They made sure to provide the raptors with all the latest news and gossip, and the raptors would focus their scavenging energy on the unpopular Stegosauruses.
When the host of the party cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, they all applauded the T-Rex and giggled at his Kiss the Cook apron. He gave a short speech about the continuing peace between the dinosaurs, and that everything would be fine.
But a Stegosaurus who had crashed the party stormed in and stood across from the T-Rex and began to shout about the injustice and preying on the weak. She yelled at her fellow herbivores and their complete and utter betrayal of their kind, although she her gaze remained firmly avoided. The Raptors began to converge around the lone Stego, all licking at their teeth hungrily.
The Stegosaurus knew her time was limited so she called out to the dinosaur guests and yelled that the Raptors may consume her flesh but her spirit will remain alive forever, and a curse will follow anyone who betrayed the so called peace of the dinosaurs.
The T-Rex was highly superstitious and did not enjoy the Stegosaurus causing such a commotion so he swatted at her with his tail, knocking her unconscious. The Triceratops almost stepped forward to stop but the Raptors snapped their jaws in her direction, forcing her to halt. The Raptors looked eagerly to their boss and with a solemn nod, the T-rex allowed them to destroy the Stegosaurs.
The party felt a little bit awkward so everyone cleared out quickly, adverting their eyes from the gruesome display on the yard. Little did they know it would be the beginning of the end of their species.
The next day, the Raptors were seen slowly stumbling through the town, tripping over the slightest rocks or cracks in the streets. A Pterodactyl landed nearby one to ask if he needed help but in his state of confusion he snapped and bit the pterodactyl hard enough to draw blood and damage the wing. Scurrying away he went to ask for help from the Hadrosaur, who had always remained on the outskirts of town and outside the drama. The Hadrosaur was mourning the loss of his friend the Stegosaurus, and helped the Pterodactyl patch up the wound.
A loud cry from the T-rex started the town, including the Hadrosaur and Pterodactyl. The dinosaurs all headed towards the sound and found the sobbing T-rex surrounded by the five Raptors that had been his crew. He was screaming about injustice, and that he would seek revenge. The Hadrosaur told him that the curse was real, that those who betrayed the Stegosaurus should watch out. The wind chimes on a nearby building played and all the dinosaurs in the town jumped.
The T-Rex climbed to his enormous feet and stood menacingly over the Hadrosaur and roared into his face. But it was no use, he felt his legs getting weaker. He fell onto his stomach and began to gasp, calling out for help from those around him. It was a matter of minutes before all the dinosaurs except the Hadrosaur and the injured Pterodactyl were gasping on the ground.
The Hadrosaur looked at the Pterodactyl and with a defeated look knew that his time was coming. While he had always been nice to the Stegosaurus he had never defended her from the others, so the curse should get him too. The Pterodactyl felt that his fate would be similar, given that he never stood up for the poor target of so much bullying.
It was after the other dinosaurs stopped their gasps did a white, transparent figure begin to materialize about the carnage.
The Stegosaurus appeared in front of her friends and smiled, explaining that she would not be able to curse them in the same way, but to teach them a lesson she would change their forms and ask them to leave behind their dinosaur ways and begin a new life.
They happily agreed and with a loud crack of thunder and a flash of lighting the Hadrosaur grew white coloured wings and webbed feet, keeping its billed lips. The Pterodactyl's wings shrunk and its beak's length diminished slight and the colours began to appear on its wings with brightly designed feathers.
They thanked the stegosaurus ghost and vowed they would never again let their friends be tormented by others even if they were larger then them. The Stegosaurus vanished with a little laugh, and said that they aren't completely off the hook, as the world was destined to turn in a garbage place filled with these awful bipedal monsters who would destroy them. She said she gave them too many chances to stand and while she couldn't kill them, she wasn't exactly doing them any favours leaving them to these things she heard rumours of being called "people".
With an evil type cackle the Stegosaurus vanished and the two new birds were left to fend for themselves in a world that was going to be terrible.
TLDR: Dinosaurs bullied the wrong bitch. She cursed them, they all died.
I promised you Harry Potter content. So Let's Do this.
Pick one and see what it reveals about you.
Pick your Wizarding World Object
You probably haven't done laundry in two months and just buy new underwear instead of washing it.
Your favourite vegetable is chocolate and you will not let anyone else tell you that you are wrong.
You know how to cook really well but you hide that fact because you are terrified of giving someone food poisoning.
You are louder than most people but only when you are drunk.
You have a terrible memory, at least when related to numbers and people's birthdays.
Forest Nerd Pledge
I pledge that I will appreciate the combination of nature and technology.
I pledge I will wander without judgement of others in their nerdy endeavours.
I pledge to support my team members in their tasks.
I pledge that I will watch where I am going so I don't step on Chipmunks.
Crystal, Sandy and I went into a forest today and played Pokemon Go as we walked along a magical path that housed 1000 fairies and forest nymphs. We created a club of sorts, perhaps more of a Team called TEAM FOREST NERDS. If you wish to join, this is the pledge you must take. Take care my forest friends.
Let's not pretend we aren't all collecting Pokemon while trying to pretend we are just checking our texts outside the bank. Let's all just realize that we want to catch 'em all and stop harassing those who are doing better. I mean, obvious there is some rules we should all follow. Such as:
WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING
Seriously, I am just as bad as everyone else. Walking around with their face on the screen. But maybe, now that the notification settings are set better I won't be such a clumsy monster. If it works on your phone, it should vibrate when something important is happening. Do that instead of walking without looking. People will end up getting eaten by real life monsters while they search for the cartoon ones.
BE NICE TO YOUR PETS
Remember your real animals need love too. They also need water when you go on your long poke-walks. Bring a bowl for them so they don't get dehydrated and don't forget to love them because they are in the reality reality not the augmented reality.
DON'T LET THE JERKS GET YOU DOWN!
For as many people I see playing or talking about Pokemon go, you see just as many people wasting time badmouthing it. How about people who aren't fans just shh a bit and let us dorks have our fun. We are going outside and walking around. You make fun of us when we stay inside to play our games, you make fun of us if we go outside to play them... HOW CAN WE WIN? And don't say stop playing games because that is not a reasonable request.
Those are my tips so far on Pokemon Go. I hope everyone trains well and stays safe. If only there was a gym closer to my house...
What did you spend your night doing? I bet it wasn't designing a T-shit with Bob Ross' face on it for your boyfriend. If it was, please email me I think we would be friends.
I will admit I messed up the first attempt. Note to self: Always buy dark transfer packages, you will almost always be making black shirts.
A little tip for anyone who has chronic insomnia (Crystal, I am looking right at you). Put on Bob Ross (Now on Netflix) before bed. He is super soothing and also kind of strange but in a weird dad way. He speaks nonsense and makes paintings that make me REALLY upset because in 30 minutes he accomplishes something I would never be able to recreate. But it is quite soothing and makes me want to pull out the old oil paintings and see what I can accomplish.
Dave and I have vowed to have a Bob Ross paint night in a couple weeks. I will let you know how that goes.