I have a problem. I have been feeling incredibly guilty lately for a variety of reasons. How do you deal with guilt? I mean, I even feel guilty for not stealing the tiny monkey from the zoo? I am feeling guilty over not committing a crime! It is becoming a big problem.
Hi there Guilty Gertie,
Nice to hear from you, here is a few tips I have gathered over the years to stop the guilty feelings.
Tip #1: Realize that you will never once make anyone happy ever. That way, if you make someone smile even the slightest bit, you will be floored.
Tip #2: Shut down the parts of your brain that comprehend emotion. Replace that with the ever present sarcasm that will serve your bitter heart.
Tip #3: Always carry wire cutters so you can cut open the monkey enclosures at the zoo. Also, before you return to the zoo look up monkey enclosure information and exactly what they eat. You are likely going to need to turn your spare bedroom into a monkey home.
So good luck in your monkey hunt!
Also, don't steal my monkey. I will then be forced to hunt you.
Don't feel guilty! Get that monkey!