I am a robot - but a shitty one. I am like a defective Roomba that doesn't clean it just eats your socks. Then it gets clogged and breaks because a Roomba is not built to clean up your socks. Clean up your own damn socks. The socks are a metaphor. See how good at painting word pictures I am?
Let's pretend that never happened.
Anyways. I am a Robot that tried to do stuff its not supposed to do and then essentially blows up. What kinds of things do my robot programming allow me to do? Write, obviously, look at this gold. I am also supposed to wear sweatpants and/or other pants that are non-restrictive and comfortable. I am also supposed to eat ice cream and hang out with only people I like which, let's be honest, are few and far between.
Instead I am forced to work like a crazy person at a job where no one likes me and get bossed around even though I am in all reality the boss. So explain that one to me the internet.
So either I need to change my robot programming to better enjoy being a piece of garbage robot that can somehow learn to pick up dirty socks, or I need to be relocated to a place where I can actually do what I am built for, light dusting and let's be real here, mostly just to carry around cats so they can become internet celebrities.
I am trying I guess. Not really, I am always saying that I am trying but in all honesty I have taken no real actions towards getting better at what I want to do. Although I did start this blog! PROGRESS! Also I entered a writing contest that I have very minimal chance of even being considered but you know what I tried and that is something.
Moral of the story is, I am not going to pick up your damn socks forever world so you better buy a new robot. Or I mean, try to get that maid robot from the Jetson's because she seems to be alright.