I joined a new gym just last week but because of some unforeseen car issues for le garçon I have been unable to go. I finally decided today was the day but when it came time to leave my Lazy Self fought very hard not to go.
Lazy Self(LS): Okay but what if instead of going to the gym and getting all sweaty you just lay down a little bit more and take another nap.
Workout Self (WS): No! I must go to the gym and work off the snack I ate.
LS: You know you are just going to eat more snacks anyway.
WS: Well what if I just stop snacking all together huh? Teach you a lesson.
LS: HOW DARE YOU. You couldn't last one day without snacking.
WS: I could so! You know what just for that I am going to cut out Carbs too!
REAL Self(AS): Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not go crazy here. We all know you would literally starve to death if you didn't eat carbs so let's shut that down right here and now.
WS: Sorry I just got a little carried away.
RS: It's okay, but don't be so hasty all the time. Slow and steady my friend, slow and steady. That's what all the Pinterest motivational pictures say.
WS: You're right. I am sorry.
RS: And you,
RS: Yeah, you. You need to sometimes realize that we have to move a little bit so that you can keep eating snacks. If not, you won't be able to pull yourself off the couch to make it to the freezer and you don't have anyone who would be willing to install a mini fridge beside your bed. They just won't. So, let's make a deal. We will go to the gym for say, an hour and then we will go buy some chips and stuff and it will be fine.
WS: Doesn't that just completely counteract everything you would have worked for at the gym?
RS: No, because let's be real here. We were going to eat the chips no matter what, so at least now you can say you ran a mile and everything is all well and good right? We all satisfied?
WS: Okay I guess that's fair, I mean, it still doesn't really work that way but sure.
LS: I don't love the idea but I guess we have to. I do think however we should revisit the idea of a bedside mini fridge. I think we can get Dave on board if we keep it stocked with beef jerky.
RS: Put a pin in it for now, we have to go sweat profusely and turn a shade of purple that most people think means that we are dying but actually just means we exerted the bare amount of effort.