So as the general population may realize, I don't tend to think very highly of myself. Tends to be related to various mental ailments I have been living with for my whole life, not the point of today's story. I think I have found the one thing that I am pretty darn good at.
I found my super power.
This super power, may not be as good as others who can you know, punch really hard or fly or walk through walls and stuff but you know what, it has been very useful to me in many instances.
My super power is: Getting really good deals and unexpected discounts.
This tends to happen without any real effort, I just somehow always end up with the cheaper version of something awesome. When I bought a camera for myself, I ended up getting the higher model for cheaper than the lower model because it was a display. Do I care that some other people have touched it? No, not really. A solid wet nap removes all the jam-handed residue from the local youths.
When I bought my mattress I got the higher end one for like, a thousand dollars off because it had been returned. It was in a cover the entire time and had been professionally cleaned. It is fine.
When I bought my car, the salesman told me what normally the percentages were for what they make and I just asked, okay but what about a percentage lower saving me hundreds of extra dollars. He wasn't too happy about it because he obviously wants a higher commission but because he said those words out loud I could not care less. Don't bully me into paying more so you can buy a jet ski bro.
Once with my old internet provider, I thought someone used a bunch of my usage when I got a big big, they reimbursed me and later I realized that it was me I had downloaded a game that I quickly deleted because it sucked.
Today I just was quiet enough on the phone for long enough that I got an extra $460. That's a lot of money to endure an awkward silence. Let me tell you, I am fine with silence. I cannot get enough silence. It is my jam.
So, no matter what people may think about my cheapness, for the most part I don't do it on purpose. With the internet, I legitimately forgot I downloaded that game and I mean, I am not going to call some big company up and be like oh remember that $50 you gave me, would you like it back? No I am poor twenty something at the time was working two jobs and going to school. That $50 probably was my food budget for the next three weeks. At least my pizza budget.
Everyone has a super power. At least according to the self help book I am half way through right now which is really good go read it it is called Super You. Mine, is apparently swindling big businesses into giving me good deals.