Last night I went to M&M Meat shops and bought one of those evil fudge cake things with roughly 5 billion calories in it. As of 8:26pm today there are only three pieces left. I have eaten nothing but cake today. It isn't even that their isn't any other food in the house. I just didn't eat anything other than cake for any reason other then I am an idiot.
I have been trying to lose weight and go to the gym more but instead, I have been eating cake and fudgecicles like a damn fiend. I know that in the summer I have to go to Dave's brother's wedding. I will likely need to wear a dress and there will be pictures taken of me. This is my NIGHTMARE. I hate dresses and I hate pictures taken of me. I hate the way I look in general let alone in pictures. Pictures are an evil way to showcase how ugly I tend to look in all clothes.
So, I am not fully sure why I am still eating all this cake when I want to be thinner. Makes no sense. Literally none. I really SHOULD have spent today at the gym or making meal plans and exercise schedules. Instead I spent the day catching up on television shows from the last few months that I have been too busy watching FRIENDS on Netflix. New Girl - Check, Glee - Check, Mindy Project - Check. Exercise plan - NOPE.
Still overweight and still lazy as hell. I should be more ashamed of my cake eating but instead I just want to eat the rest of that damn cake. Fucking delicious cake.
What are "Fancy Sweatpants" you ask? How can sweatpants be any kind of fancy? Well, when you spend about 80% of you days in sweatpants you have to differentiate.
It's really a very simple and probably pathetic story but obviously I am going to tell it.
Here is how it went:
Dave (the boyfriend): Hey, want to go get some groceries?
Tanya (that is me): I don't know, I guess so.
Dave: Okay so let's go.
Tanya: *looks at pants* Okay but hold on, let me change into my fancy sweatpants.
Dave: *raises eyebrow*
Dave: What are fancy sweatpants?
Tanya: Well these pants are my regular sweatpants *points at $8 mens sweatpants from Zellers* And these sweatpants *holds up fancy sweatpants* are my FANCY SWEATPANTS!
Dave: *rolls eyes*
And that is how it happened. That is the exciting story for which I will name my memoire. Such an anti-climax right? But really that moment is fairly defining moment in that I realized how sad it was that I literally thought of my sweatpants as fancy. Because I seriously do.
I mean, maybe because they are literally the most expensive article of clothing I own to this day. They are Roots sweatpants, they cost like in the upwards of $70. I don't own any other pants that cost anywhere close to that. So yes. They are god damn fancy as hell.
This is a lot of money to spend on a pair of pants that are supposed to only be worn in your house. Granted, I don't only just wear them in my house I wear them everywhere that its considered moderately acceptable to do so. Grocery stores, friends houses, Costco...restaurants...
Okay so maybe I wear my sweatpants more than socially acceptable but in my defence, as previously mentioned, they cost more than any other article of clothing so I am just trying to be fancy.
You know what, I thought this story would be funnier. I guess I am not as funny as I thought. Way to go internet, you are supposed to build my confidence not destroy me before I am any kind of anything.
I mostly just want to see how to do this because I have never used this website before.
My name is Tanya and this is my website.
Why should you read this, because what else are you doing with your time? Watching Netflix? Pft. That's not a good - wait, depends what are you watching because then maybe i understand completely and then you can just read this during those breaks where Netflix is checking to see if you died. No Netflix I know i haven't moved in three hours but yes I would like to continue watching Happy Endings for the sixth time.