I can't move off my couch. I am too sleepy. I am too comfy, and I am too lazy.
I have a bunch of stuff I need to clean up/pack. And I should give the house a solid clean because no one wants to move into a house that is filled of other peoples garbage.
I also need to shower and pack all my hair products and makeup and stuff... and figure out tomorrows clothes so I can maybe pack the rest or load them into the car.
Essentially I want tomorrow to go as smoothly as humanly possible because we have very few people actually helping us do the physical moving which is fine because Dave and I are fairly capable ourselves, I just want to make sure not to waste my short amount of time with the strong people coming on lifting stupid stuff. I can lift stupid stuff, but I cannot lift my desk with a granite top. I am actually not 100% sure how that will even get out of the room. I wan't here when Dave assembled it so I have no idea how many pieces it goes into.
Hopefully it doesn't get broken because its beautiful and fancy. I mean, its just from Costco so don't think that I am super high class or anything, but it is nice looking and I enjoy it. It is however, heavy as hell.
I think, I am slowly going to resort to only purchasing inflatable furniture so that the next time - if ever - I move again everything can just be deflated and loaded into one vehicle.
I am afraid of my post office lady.
I need to go to the post office and get my mail forwarded to our new address but the last time I had to talk to the lady who runs our post office I was essentially yelled at by a bitter 50 year old lady who is vaguely reminiscent of Roz from Monsters Inc.
She got mad at me because they mislabelled my package. The internet tracking said it was in but I never got the slip so I asked her to look and this is what she said "Do you know how long it would take for me to do that?"
I live in the smallest town in the world. There was maybe 10 packages on the ground. And it isn't like there is a back room. That is literally it. I could have done it myself if it wasn't a federal offence.
Anyways, after calling another post office, I got my shit but she was all bitchy when I picked it up from her and she said something horrible when I picked it up that apparently I blocked it out. I should really go over there... Maybe she isn't there. Apparently they are closing down our little small post office and setting up those mailboxes all over the neighbourhood. I am so glad I am moving in two more days.
My best friend Crystal and I, have made a thing! We have decided that we will start making a podcast!
It is called Timely Waffle and will be going live very soon! Last night I spent in the upwards of five hours making a theme song in the most round about way possible and it sounds a little messy but who cares. I am messy, its representative of me. Hopefully Crystal likes it as much as I do. It's very simple, and if anyone out there in internet land wants to make us a better one, go nuts but I must inform you I can only pay you in high fives. Which can only be redeemed if you travel to me. Which I will then run away from you because that sounds a little like you are stalking me and I am a very paranoid person.
Anyways, our podcast! It has different sections that we play games and do quizzes and generally just have our normal conversations but with a microphone in front of us and with more preparation. We hope that it goes really well and we will get better over time.
The fun thing is, it isn't like either of us know how to do any of this stuff so we are learning how to do everything as we go. So if its not perfect, give us a bit of a break we have no idea what we are doing it is just FUN!
It is surprisingly fun and easy to fill an hour. Well, easy might be pushing it we spent many hours the night before struggling to think up things that we would talk about but when we started we just talked and it was fine.
Anyways, you can follow us on twitter to get the latest news about when everything will go live: @timely_waffle or on Tumblr or whenever I make the website I will announce it on here as well.
Hooray creative outlets!
Falling Up the stairs is a skill.
It is perhaps one possessed only by a few.
It is an ungraceful attempt at stopping the inevitable.
But at least if you can fall up, you won't have to fall back down after.
My elbow begs to differ.
But shut up elbow you took one for the team.
You sacrificed your skin so that a leg or knee or ankle would remain in tact.
So Honor those who are artful in their falls.
Those who can launch themselves upwards and not allow gravity to pull them back down.
Those elbows and palms who are on the front lines.
Those hero's who lie, and say "oh I am okay" when someone witnessed their power.
We are not fine, our power is a secret.
Our power is ours alone.
Our power should not be witnessed by those who do not understand.
Our power of being a spaz.
Our power not to fall down, but up.
Slam poetry by Tanya.
In 11 days I will be moving to our new house. For the remaining 11 days, we must continue to live next door to someone who hates us. Our neighbour is no longer holding in his distain for us is no longer being cloaked in passive aggressive glances. He now just is openly glaring at us as he mows the lawn, and bitchy requests about unfinished siding.
When did it become okay for neighbours to be assholes? Why is it that just because we share a fence line and a road that a stupid man whom I never really talk to gets to have an opinion on the length of my front lawn.
I know some subdivisions have this weird rule set that forces you to only paint your house in certain colours, or you get fined if you dare to miss weeding the garden for a week. But literally in my entire four and a half years I have said a total of seventeen words to this man.
A neighbour should not get to tell you that the six inch piece of shed not covered in siding is a problem when their children spend 75% of their days in our laneway shooting tennis balls and hockey pucks at my already cracked windshield.
Pro-tip: If you want to have a good neighbour relationship, teach your annoyingly dumb children to respect other peoples property, and do not encourage them by shooting a tennis ball at a moving vehicle when a man is driving it.
On this weeks edition of Underrated Movies we will visit a little known chick-flick called: What's Your Number, staring Anna Faris and Chris Evans. With notable cameos from Chris Pratt, Anthony Mackie, and Eliza Coupe. All of whom I love.
The plot isn't really the important part of why I think it is underrated. Let's for a moment discuss the crazy star studded / super talented cast.
Staring Anna Farris who I love, she is hilarious and beautiful and not afraid to be a goof. She also seems like in real life she must be pretty cool.
Chris Evans. Need I say more? He is like, the ultimate bro. I assume, given the media of course but he just seems like the coolest guy to go grab a beer with. Also he is CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA. And he is beautiful - BUT that is not the only reason to love him. Google his interviews, he is wonderful.
Chris Pratt makes several appearances. Anna Farris' husband got to watch her kiss Captain America. Luckily he is a super hero in his own right and him and Chris Evans seem to be best bros. But I love Chris Pratt. I just don't think I have ever seen anything he has been in and been disappointed - pressures on for Jurassic World friend.
Eliza Coupe plays Anna's friend. She also played Jane in Happy Endings and I love that show more than almost any other show.
Anthonie Mackie, who later became Falcon with Captain America is in this briefly as a Gay Political guy who wants to use Anna Farris as a beard. He is adorable and I enjoy him also.
There are so many to go through, but other honourable mentions: Will Truman's mom whose name I don't know I apologize, Martin Freeman, Andy Sandberg, That guy who is in everything but whose real name I don't ever know... you are welcome, also, Miss Rhode Island.
Anyways, I want to be smart and say something about how I love that this movie allows a woman to have the non-traditional role of getting to be a bit goofy and the screw up when it seems like in most chick-flicks it is usually a guy who messes up, but really this movie just has a lot of heart. She does weird little sculptures that I like, he plays guitar, they break into Maddison Square Garden, and let's be honest, there is a lot of attractive and adorable moments for my favourite Avenger. Exhibit A:
I think one of the things I like most about this movie is that it enforces my belief that being in love, means being yourself - (literal quote from the movie). And that is the biggest take-away that I think all people should know. I mean, she spends the whole movie trying to change to find a man, but the perfect one was there when she was her normal self, eating pizza and dancing in her living room. (Ps, in a deleted scene she does the craziest dance and he loves it. look it up).
So all in all, if you are looking for a light and fluffy Rom-com without having to watch Sandy change herself for Danny to love her again, or Drew Barrymore fall for Adam Sandler, not once, twice BUT THRICE, give this one a try. It is fun, it is simple, and it is delightful. It's a weird little movie for those weirdos who just want to be themselves.
Packing up your entire life's worth of belongings into boxes. Where does one get enough boxes? How does one know where to start? And how does one pack all their belongings without it being so god damn heavy?
So my main problem with this whole packing thing is that I need to pack in other rooms of my house, but I have no way to watch Parks & Recreation anywhere but in my office. On the plus side, my office is probably the most packed room in the whole house so far.
I need to reserve a truck still. And also cancel water and taxes and other things. I had such a hard time cancelling phone and television and internet though. The new house doesn't have the same interest available as our current house and because we don't use the cable box or the home phone ever I just wanted to cancel them (don't bother asking why a 26 year old even had these to begin with, I really don't know). But they just kept trying to convince me to keep them, and when I was like, "No literally dude, all I want is internet and that isn't available in the new area." they would say "Let me check that for you" and force me to repeat the address again only for them to tell me not once, not twice, not four times but FIVE different workers of this company tried to convince me to continue my service.
I mean, I am all for brand loyalty but if your product literally doesn't exist there this is not my fault. So either improve your service area or accept I am leaving your service and shut up.
Anyway, this is really boring for anyone to ever read ever but I am going to post it anyway because why the hell not right?
I will finish with a haiku:
Packing is not fun.
Everything likely will break.
Need more bubble wrap.
How do you make money when you have no qualifications?
How do you get a job that doesn't exist?
Why oh Why am I not independently wealthy?
So, as I mentioned I am taking an introvert weekend which involves a lot of movie watching. The thing is, as I was trying to fall asleep last night, I realized that all the movies I watched fell into a theme.
Here are the movies I watched:
As Britta Perry always says, "I am a psych major!" and also am a writer so I tend to analyze everything. So let us look at the themes of the movies:
So, as is evident here, I had a bit of a theme yesterday which was 100% accidental. It just happened to be the movies I picked as I looked at Netflix. So if you read into it, or you know... barely glance at it with squinty eyes it might be likely that I need to go on a trip and figure out who I am.
Problem is, in the real world you can't just cut your hair and run off and join the army. Or run off and pretend to be rich only to turn out to actually be rich. And if you are ever thinking you were turned into a llama, you WILL go on a trip, but it will be to a mental institution. I wonder how many towns still outlaw dancing. I should google that. After a quick googling, the answer is: some. Stupid world. HAS KEVIN BACON TAUGHT YOU NOTHING.
Stress and Anxiety are a real problem for me. Especially lately because of work stress and then the added pressure of selling/buying a house. The biggest problem is, my body is completely incapable of recognizing stressful situations or acknowledging when it needs to take a break. And instead of being like, hey, this is maybe too much, it just keeps doing stuff until it explodes.
By explodes I mean the stress causes literal pains. Which I am certain those with anxiety disorders such as mine, experience just as frequently as I do. It is a real pain in the ass.
Essentially it feels as though a rhinoceros is sitting on my body. Which, as you can understand is quite uncomfortable. It is time for *drum roll*
INTROVERT REVIVAL WEEKEND!
I will be spending my weekend doing the following things:
- Packing, because I am moving.
- Watching Netflix
- Napping (yes they are different)
- Eating many snacks.
- Probably eat some brunch waffles.
- Quietly tell my body to calm its shit and shut the fuck up.