How does one obtain a sufficient amount of money,
without breaking the law,
or working at a job that steals all of your creative juices?
Asking for a friend.
Imaginary texts from my Dogs:
Wednesday September 23 2015 - 11:37am
Winston: Hey, how do I turn on Netflix again?
Me: You are supposed to be in your bed sleeping. Why are you in the living room?
Winston: I don't think you understand, Gotham was just added to Netflix and just because you have to wait to watch it with Dave doesn't mean I do.
Thursday September 24 2015 - 3:47pm
Noodle: Are you sure we can't sell him?
Me: Noodle, we are not selling Winston. He is family.
Noodle: I found a nice family in the east end who will give you a VHS copy of the Titanic in exchange. I think you would be getting the better deal here.
Friday September 25 2015 - 2:29pm
Winston: Noodle keeps taking pictures of me and then emailing them to strangers.
Me: I'll talk to her when I get home.
Winston: Okay, but she keeps talking about how great of a movie Titanic is.
Me: You tell her we already own it on BluRay. Also tell her if she is going to keep using my laptop to put the keyboard protector on, she is getting dog hair in between the keys.
Saturday September 26 2015 - 3:21am
Winston: WAKE UP ITS IMPORTANT
Winston: I SEE YOU FIDGITING
Winston: GET UP
Winston: NOODLE IS TAKING UP ALL THE SPACE
Winston: WAKE UP AND MEDIATE
Winston: She just pushed me! How did you not see that?
Winston: Why did you get me this phone if you were going to ignore me in my times of need?
Winston: Damnit, your phone is on silent. Maybe I will just try sitting on your face that usually works.
If only dogs had opposable thumbs.
Where does Motivation come from?
And can I harvest it from others?
And is it possible to grow some extra?
And would anyone notice it missing?
Could I just borrow it for a bit?
I have things to do and no ability,
I am pretty sure I know some people not using theirs.
So pretty please just share okay?
Join Crystal and Tanya for episode 10 of the Timely Waffle where they ask a bunch of silly questions about increasingly weird things.
Goodbye, you were so good to me.
I will miss you forever and think of you fondly.
Remember that time we got lost together? That was funny.
Remember that time you got sick and I took you for help and then when I got you back you ended up twice as sick? That was hilarious.
Remember all those cold nights we spent together after slipping in the snow? Perfect.
You were a bit of a fixer-upper but I never held that against you, because you knew I wasn't perfect either.
You did everything you were ever meant to and I will forever be in debt to you for never making fun of my singing voice.
I will miss you sweet friend.
Rest in Peace Brad, my lovely and almost-reliable car, and Hello Babs. My new crime fighting cross over.
Yes this was about a car.
PS: I got a new car.
You know the drill, we made the thing, you listen to the thing, we make more of the thing and you listen to more of the thing. See how this is a nice back and forth that will go on and on until the end of time ... or worse, the end of the internet.
Anyways, Episode 9 is a really fun one. Crystal and I hadn't seen each other in a week so we were giggling a lot. ENJOY.
Click on the link to go to our Timely Waffle Website to donate to the madness to help support our ability to make more of the thing so you can listen to more of the thing. See, give and take people. Sharing is Caring.
After stumbling out of bed at 1pm on Saturday, disoriented and still somehow exhausted, I turned to Netflix to help a girl enjoy a rainy Saturday. I tried to find a classic feel-good chick flick from my past, however the original movie I was searching for was unavailable. HOWEVER, Netflix did a nice thing and suggested none other than the most classic of high school movies for girls over 25: CLUELESS!
Please keep in mind, Cher is supposed to be one of the most popular, cool, awesome girls in her school. Now, I don't remember seeing real people dress to the extent of 90s that she does but you know what I was in a small town so it probably happened.
So, obviously times change. Some movies tend to feel a bit more dated than others I guess because they work so hard to be relevant at the time. The main take away from watching Clueless in the year 2015, IT HOLDS UP. It is so good. Jane Austen, you know how to write a good plot. (I mean, that is obvious I guess but thought she deserved the shout out).
So I recommend everyone go watch Clueless on Netflix immediately and please comment with your favourite quote. Here is just one of mine:
Hey there, did you listen to Episode 8 of the Timely Waffle? It is really exciting. We talk about editing things like the Muppet show, Body Positivity, and Star Wars new toys! Go to TimelyWaffle.com for more information on how to Subscribe, Rate, Review or donate to support the show! We are currently trying to save up enough to buy a second microphone so that is just a win-win for everyone involved.
Given that I am not single, I am very out of touch with the dating game. However the internet has made me aware that many people are using Tinder for their dating needs. Now, all you have to do to find a date is swipe right on your phone and bam, you can chat up a stranger without any need for a cover charge or high heels. That is all well and good for those people, but after discussing it with a friend I thought of an idea.
What if there was an app like Tinder but for dogs to use? Not for dating of course, well I mean some could use it that way but my dog is fixed and does not need a girlfriend, he loves a beautiful girl named Zuul that loves him so much she literally tries to eat his whole face.
The real bonus of this is that the owners get to play with other dogs. That is half the scheme you see. Because your dog doesn't have thumbs, they can't swipe right, you get to do it for them. So if theres an adorable French Bulldog in your neighbourhood you have been dying to hold and snuggle, BAM! SWIPE RIGHT.
Okay so change of plans. How about instead of finding a play date for your dog, someone just builds a company that is essentially doggy daycare but allows people to come play with the puppies. It will be like dog therapy. Charge someone $25 bucks an hour to play with the grown dogs and $50 for puppies. Puppies obviously need the extra money to pay for shots and stuff. You gotta pay more for the young ones. That's what television and movies have taught me. This is starting to sound like a non-sexual brothel... would that be illegal then? Paying money to pet a dog? I should stop now before the government come for me.
In my Gryffindor Socks,
And my Weasley T-shirt,
I sit in my bed.
It is Friday Night,
My plans fell through,
and I think its pretty great.
I should probably plan my novel,
But my eyes aren't working,
I should try opening them up.
But with Netflix and Tumblr,
How can I be productive,
While I sit in my bed?