So I am trying to work on the introduction for a book. I need to write a sample for this submission-feedback thing I am doing by next week. I am having horrible doubts about my stuff so instead I am going to write some purposefully terrible introduction sentences here so I hopefully just expel them from my system. That makes sense right?
She came into this world screaming, crying and covered in sauce and she will leave this world screaming, crying and probably covered in sauce.
What's a girl like you writing a book like this?
My name is Tanya and I have an addiction to ice cream and sarcasm.
The universe played a cruel joke on my loved ones when it presented little Tanya to them. However, 27 years later the joke isn't funny anymore and everyone is still forced to deal with her.
If you don't continue reading this book you will have bad luck for 4 years.
Crafty, introverted, sarcastic girl with uncontrollable hair seeks patient, understanding, quirky friend to discuss Harry Potter, Marvel movies, and ice cream flavours.
Read my book you jerk.
How are those? Quality introductions right? Can we all just acknowledge that this is not going to go very well?