Sometimes in life, things change. Most importantly, television shows change.
Right now I am watching the Office on Netflix, and I am at the season where Michael Scott (a.k.a. Steve Carrell) is leaving. That is strange right? When the main character leaves a television show, it goes so strangely.
Did you think that this was going to be about something relevant or important? No, it is about how much I dislike changes in television shows.
One of my favourite shows is Agent's of Shield and things are always changing in that and I can hardly handle it.
Here is what need to happen in my opinion in my favourite television shows:
So, that is all I need to say. Please relax shows, I do not think I can handle Shield tonight.
It is 4pm on Saturday and I have been sitting here for a solid 8 hour shift. I have only gotten up to get snacks, go pee, and let the dogs in and out a thousand times. I am starting to develop a theory about the couch because the only logical explanation of how I have been here so long is it is a trap?
I am pretty certain that a magnet was implanted in my butt at some point, by the Netflix people probably, who installed an opposing one in my couch so that when I sit down I get a little bit stuck. Not enough that it is like, "Oh man I can't move," But just enough so its comfortable to sit, and annoying to get up. That way I will consume all of their content.
This theory may sound crazy, but you should know that I am a licensed theorist (no I am not , that is not a thing) so you have to take me seriously.
I assume that once you sign up for your free trial they send the magnet over via secret magnet assassin, and implants them in your couch and all so that when you do the free trial you are like, oh man I need to do this forever, and then sign up and never move again. Also, magnets are part of that weird system where people wear bracelets and then their joints feel nice, so Netflix gets to write off all the magnets as a medical expense while also making everyone feel nice for watching their programming.
I swear I am not crazy.... please don't send me back there I MEAN NOTHING.
Have a nice productive afternoon. I know I won't.
Fuller House is on Netflix. I repeat, Fuller House is on Netflix.
This is not a drill.
It is amazing. So cheesy, so majestic.
Please go watch it right now okay.
If you want to see my reactions to this show, go read my twitter. @tanosaurusrex
My newest comic book review is out and I very much would love it if you would all go read it and make me look good.
CLICK HERE AND BE SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR FAVORITE WEIRDO.
This week I reviewed a comic called Wynonna Earp, a cowboy-monster fighter who is kind of like Buffy meets the wild west. Really interesting, did not think I was going to enjoy it half as much as I did. Strong lady characters are something that have really become important to me, maybe because I want nothing more than to be a strong lady character myself, or because they have always been important but it's just only recently that media is allowing them to be portrayed as much as they have been.
Agent Peggy Carter
I think it is extremely refreshing to have female characters whose entire purpose isn't Love Interest or Ex-Love Interest or Love Interest's foil. I would (or have) watched shows and movies simply about these women and the lives they lead. So movie and television studios, please continue to bring us interesting and compelling bad-ass ladies and we will continue to watch them. Now, please excuse me while I search on Ebay for a Rey costume for Halloween.
So award season is upon us and with that begins the endless parade of beautiful people in beautiful clothes celebrating beautiful films. However I thought that I may propose some alternates of things that I thought we important and maybe you can all vote on them? Deal? Deal.
Did you know,
If you try real hard,
You can achieve almost anything.
If you work on a goal,
and stay on track,
you can do it all.
You can watch an entire season on Netflix,
You can paint 100 plastic dinosaurs chrome,
You can bake brownies,
And eat a tub of cream,
All in only one weekend.
Don't forget sleeping until noon,
And accidental three hour naps,
or watching a movie from 1993.
Demolishing two bags of chips,
Avoiding the gym,
and a last minute family dinner.
Yes this can all be done,
In one weekend no less!
Impressive as it may seem.
As long as there are
more important things to do,
You can achieve almost none of them through procrastinating.
If you try real hard.
As you can see I had a productive weekend just not in any of the things I needed to do. Good job me. Top notch procrastinating. Really impressive. The surprise nap, that was totally out of left field. Oh, and the last minute dinner? Who saw that coming? Obviously not me.
Alright weekend, you beat me this time. Lets try this again next week okay? Same time, I'll bring the ice cream you bring the naps.
I just wrote a whole blog post and was about to publish it.
The blog post was about how things tend to go wrong in my life.
The blog post was deleted and not saved in my drafts as I went to hit publish.
How will anyone ever know of my creative genius if the internet keeps deleting it?
Let me try this again.
My life is consistently full of garbage. If I am not sick, Dave is sick. If Dave isn't sick, my car is broken. If my car isn't broken, my dog pooped on a rug. If my dog didn't poop on a rug then I don't know, I can't find my sweatpants.
Seemingly trivial things to a lot of people I am sure. I appreciate your struggles, really I do, but unfortunately for you this is my website.
What I want to know is, if there is Karma, or whatever entity you believe in, why does it constantly seem like shitty things have to happen all the time. Why can't a day just be alright sometimes? It never is just wake up and be medium all day. I am not asking for a fantastic great day, I am asking for an alright day.
Here is what an decent day looks like:
That is really all I would need to have an decent day.
A Fantastic Great Day would look more like this:
That would be a Fantastically Great Day.
I may not be a saint, and I sometimes do shitty things like drive too fast or laugh at kids who fall off their bikes, but I just want to go one day where everything is just decent.
I think there should be a rule where we get like, minimum once a month a day where nothing bad, nothing ridiculously wonderful, just only decent things happen. That should be a thing. Make it happen the internet.
After stumbling out of bed at 1pm on Saturday, disoriented and still somehow exhausted, I turned to Netflix to help a girl enjoy a rainy Saturday. I tried to find a classic feel-good chick flick from my past, however the original movie I was searching for was unavailable. HOWEVER, Netflix did a nice thing and suggested none other than the most classic of high school movies for girls over 25: CLUELESS!
Please keep in mind, Cher is supposed to be one of the most popular, cool, awesome girls in her school. Now, I don't remember seeing real people dress to the extent of 90s that she does but you know what I was in a small town so it probably happened.
So, obviously times change. Some movies tend to feel a bit more dated than others I guess because they work so hard to be relevant at the time. The main take away from watching Clueless in the year 2015, IT HOLDS UP. It is so good. Jane Austen, you know how to write a good plot. (I mean, that is obvious I guess but thought she deserved the shout out).
So I recommend everyone go watch Clueless on Netflix immediately and please comment with your favourite quote. Here is just one of mine:
In my Gryffindor Socks,
And my Weasley T-shirt,
I sit in my bed.
It is Friday Night,
My plans fell through,
and I think its pretty great.
I should probably plan my novel,
But my eyes aren't working,
I should try opening them up.
But with Netflix and Tumblr,
How can I be productive,
While I sit in my bed?
Public Service Announcement: Mamma Mia is Back on Netflix.
Please excuse me while I fan-girl over Meryl Streep's fantastic self. And swoon over Dominic Cooper's abs. And get mesmerized by Pierce Brosnan's dreamy gaze. And completely intoxicated by the scenery that is a gorgeous island in Greece that I would like to visit right now.
Like seriously... who can resist this silver fox though? Or this handsome hunk?
It is just such a fun movie. It was a great broadway play as well - was actually the first one I saw with my mom and it was so so fun. But I feel like its pretty easy to make a movie look beautiful with Pierce, Dominic, Meryl, Amanda, and cast all in one of the most beautiful place in the world.
Okay but how do we get them to make more musicals? I mean, I know that Les Mis came out last year but that was not really as much fun. At all. I mean everyone died. No one dies in Mamma Mia.