Today is the 4 anniversary of Winston being in my life.
4 years ago today I brought home Sir Winston Loo Dog Lewis Piggy Chauncey Snarf Monster Pugglesworth and he has been the main focus of my mind ever since .
The things I love most about him:
- Pretty much everything
The things I love least about him:
- He will never know the full extent to which I love his stupid face
(And i mean, sometimes he pees on stuff but mostly the other thing)
I think you should all follow him on instagram because I have become the kind of person who own a dog with their own instagram. I have accepted it so you should too.
There are dogs, and then there are good dogs. I mean, all dogs are good dogs, but there are a select few that are just the goodest of dogs.
What kind of grammatically incorrect nonsense is this? well, it is into incorrect at all. It is a concept we came up with at work the other day. Because all dogs are good dogs, how do you differentiate with those who are truly amazing?
They are the goodest.
Dogs like Jackson at work, who prompted this discussion, he is so lovely and happy.
Or Zuul the wiggly love monkey.
Or Noodle, the sassy lady.
Or Pess the particular princess.
Or Louis the tiny king.
Or Dresden the smart floof giant.
Or Varo the dorky dufus.
Or Winston, my lovely pug, he tries so so hard.
So many of the goodest dogs.
I love dogs, guys.
Like a lot.
Some say too much, I say no such thing.
The main goal of 2017 is to become financially organized. This is a challenge because I am probably one of the top five worst with money.
So perhaps instead of organizing my current money, I just need to find a way to get more - enough so it doesn't matter how I am with money....
Here are the current plans:
If anyone has any genius ideas (or is looking for a kidney for a fair price) please email them to me ASAP.
So, have you ever been sitting around and realized that Tim Allen might secretly be in love with your mother?
Sounds crazy right? Or does it...
Hear me out.
Tim Allen used to portray Tim Taylor, a crazy car obsessed tool-man, AKA: exactly like my mechanic father.
Tim Allen played Santa Claus in a series of movies, my mom LOVES Christmas.
Tim Allen voiced a cartoon character in an amazing PIxar movie, my mom had two young children who LOVE Disney/Pixar movies.
Tim Allen now plays a hunting and fishing outdoors man, my mom literally owns a hunting and fishing store.
Are you going to try and tell me that this is just a coincidence? Are you going to try to tell me that Tim Allen isn't manufactoring his entire career to catch the attention of my mother? Are you going to pretend like this isn't a fascinating realization.
Tim Allen, my mother is currently taken, but keep trying. Maybe one day you will meet your one true love.
What kind of time machine,
Are you living in?
Mr. Stamos, you get more handsome,
Pretty much everyday.
It is really unfair,
And really weird.
Explain yourself sir,
You are a probably,
Into some dark margic.
When I need to do something that is for my own good, I tend to just... not.
We were hosting a Halloween gathering of sorts, and instead of figuring out a costume, I thought of EVERY costume I could do if I had enough time and instead ignored this years plans. Luckily for me, my last minute costume worked out. I found a captains hat and my ghetto homemade captain's cardigan allowed my to become the Undead Captain of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Yes, like the Gordon Lightfoot song.
Why? Because Dave insisted on being the Edmund Fitzgerald and I needed a costume. The options were, be a captain which is fine and can do fun things with that, or Dave's suggestion: Be a Shoal. AKA the rocks on the bottom of the ocean they suspect caused the Edmund Fitzgerald to sink. I went with captain.
Crystal helped me craft a boat, and watched me put on my new and improved eyebrows for like.. twenty minutes. I enjoyed having enormous eyebrows. I think I might just do it for fun now. Hello next family pictures look!
Now, as for my last few days where have I been? Attempting to write and then distracting myself with absolutely nothing. Like, I have found myself staring at dead bug smudges on the wall instead of writing. Oh Nanowrimo, every year I think I will go into and be super awesome at it, and yet every year it reminds me that my brain is a weird place.
I am only on chapter 2 and my plan is already completely off track. I have no idea what's going to happen now. I am a little afraid. It got weird. But I think it will be... fine. I mean that's why you never publish the first draft. I like one of my characters little quirks though. He likes to call the main character a different type of cheese every time he addresses her. I am running out of cheese types though.
I need to get back to writing, but I hope you all are well. Stick with me and hopefully I will get back on track updates wise!
It has been pointed out to me by my own brain, that I have been a bit frazzled attention span wise lately. I haven't even told you where you can find all my new stuff!
Shared.com is where I work now and they are lovely enough to let me write what ever craziness I want - I mean within reason, but that is why I still have you wonderful Fancy Sweatpants, for those thoughts and weird ramblings that are too weird for normal websites.
Anyways, should you wish to know what I have been up to here is the overwhelmingly disappointing insights you have been waiting for:
See, don't say I haven't accomplished anything! I am trying to email myself my crafting pictures, I made some bloody candles and some skull floral arrangements but my phone is being super rude so that might not be until tomorrow.
Hope you are all well, and seriously go to Shared.com and check out all the things I wrote! It would be very nice of you!
The best way to make your day a little bit better is to prepare in advance. Don't understand what I mean? Let me paint you a picture.
Meet Tanya, an emotional eating pessimist who tends to buy snacks and eat them all in one night. So one day when she buys herself a special treat and puts it in the fridge for later she didn't know how this would impact her future life. Weeks later Tanya is looking for something in the fridge and happens upon the magical snack her entire day is upgraded to a level that is only achieved when one finds chocolate treats in their fridge.
So now I am going to go eat my secret fridge chocolate. Or maybe I will leave it in the fridge for another day because it won't take long because my memory is worse than most fish.
Ahh how intensely I have been neglecting you dear friends. The truth is, I have been very tired this week as I start my brand new full time writing job and my brain was trying to adjust to being my hilariously witty self all day. It can be really exhausting. Who knew? So I am here to once again apologize for ignoring you, and promise to try my most medium amount of effort to not ignore you any more. I mean, tomorrow and Sunday I am actually going out of town but I will try to update before I go and right when I come back so you might not even notice.
Ohhh but Tanya, what is this fascinating full time job? I'm glad you asked internet friend! I now am happily a Staff Writer for Shared.com! It's a pretty cool website that helps curate all your trending news needs. Lots of cute puppies, lots of silly videos, lots of DIYs. It's only been a week, but I am having a lot of fun and I would love it if all of you lovely people would go check it out and make me look good. You can find links to all of my articles here: CLICK ON ME I WILL TAKE YOU TO WHERE YOU NEED TO GO!
Other than that, I am heading on a little road trip this weekend to bring my little baby mini-me off to college. Don't even get me started on how old I feel. It is actually shocking to me. I mean, I am not collecting any kind of social security yet but I still don't feel as grown up as I would assume most 28 year olds do. Who knows... I don't know many 28 year olds. Maybe like.. 5. MAYBE.
Anyways, this is just a long rambling nonsense blabbering post about why I was ignoring you and how you should go be my best friend and read the nonsense I write in other places on the internet because you love me and want good things to happen to me. RIGHT?!
Once again: SHARED.COM IS A GOOD TIME - TANYA SAYS SO AND WE ALL TRUST TANYA.
This was a very good first day.
Everyone should go check out Shared.com because now they let me write nonsense for them.
You know, when your first assignment at a job is to write about the spice girls, it is easy to know you made the right life choices somewhere along the way.
That is all for today, because I am too full to think. (We went out to dinner and I accidentally ate ALL the foods.)