It has been pointed out to me by my own brain, that I have been a bit frazzled attention span wise lately. I haven't even told you where you can find all my new stuff!
Shared.com is where I work now and they are lovely enough to let me write what ever craziness I want - I mean within reason, but that is why I still have you wonderful Fancy Sweatpants, for those thoughts and weird ramblings that are too weird for normal websites.
Anyways, should you wish to know what I have been up to here is the overwhelmingly disappointing insights you have been waiting for:
See, don't say I haven't accomplished anything! I am trying to email myself my crafting pictures, I made some bloody candles and some skull floral arrangements but my phone is being super rude so that might not be until tomorrow.
Hope you are all well, and seriously go to Shared.com and check out all the things I wrote! It would be very nice of you!
My website tried to change its layouts and when I tried to figure it out I ended up looking like a fool. How do I fix it?
Dear Disaster Designer,
I am right there with you dude. They changed the layouts here and now I don't know what I did but I can't change things. Here are some suggestions that the internet has given me for improving your things.
1. Host a really good podcast that gets sponsored by Squarespace. I am not sponsered... YET. But squarespace if you want to sponser the Timely Waffle we just recorded our first episode in a long time so obviously you should check us out and help us out.
2. Get a really good nerdy friend. According to TV and movies one of the people in your friend group is already a crazy hacker or computer wiz. Trick them with candies and pizzas to build you a better site.
3. Give up and go with what ever option is the least awful of the premade templates.
Hope that helps!
PS: If anyone can actually just explain to me how to fix this... that would be solid. Unless we all are satisfied with the new look then it can stay. Please let me know!
Branding is very important on the internet. According to... the internet.
Maybe it is all a trap, but I figure I should figure out my brand right?
LET'S GIVE IT A GO!
Tanya Ruiter - The girl you can't trust with your ice cream
Tanya Ruiter - Her socks never match
Tanya Ruiter - Cares more about dogs than the news
Tanya Ruiter - The internet's awkward middle sister.
Tanya Ruiter - Robot Dinosaur (maybe)
Let's not pretend we aren't all collecting Pokemon while trying to pretend we are just checking our texts outside the bank. Let's all just realize that we want to catch 'em all and stop harassing those who are doing better. I mean, obvious there is some rules we should all follow. Such as:
WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING
Seriously, I am just as bad as everyone else. Walking around with their face on the screen. But maybe, now that the notification settings are set better I won't be such a clumsy monster. If it works on your phone, it should vibrate when something important is happening. Do that instead of walking without looking. People will end up getting eaten by real life monsters while they search for the cartoon ones.
BE NICE TO YOUR PETS
Remember your real animals need love too. They also need water when you go on your long poke-walks. Bring a bowl for them so they don't get dehydrated and don't forget to love them because they are in the reality reality not the augmented reality.
DON'T LET THE JERKS GET YOU DOWN!
For as many people I see playing or talking about Pokemon go, you see just as many people wasting time badmouthing it. How about people who aren't fans just shh a bit and let us dorks have our fun. We are going outside and walking around. You make fun of us when we stay inside to play our games, you make fun of us if we go outside to play them... HOW CAN WE WIN? And don't say stop playing games because that is not a reasonable request.
Those are my tips so far on Pokemon Go. I hope everyone trains well and stays safe. If only there was a gym closer to my house...
I made this to help you better understand my mind or as I like to call it: The Nonsense Factory.
As you can see there isn't a lot of clarity or reliability in workings of my mind. It is pretty impressive that I have accomplished as much as I have right?
PS: Thanks Crystal for showing me canva.com as you can see I had fun.
I don't often look at the trending topics on twitter because it usually has something to do with someone from a boy band or Beiber. I just looked at it now, and #RIPHarrysHair is trending higher than #CivilWar.
Now... In my opinion, the hair cut of a boy band member matters just so much less than civil war. Civil War is just the most important thing ever. I am disappointed in you internet. Get your shit together.
Also.. go see Civil War okay? It's so so good.
You get sent a surprise video from one of your favourite actors of all time. Thank you Paul Rudd, even if this is not actually truly meant for just me, I don't care. It made my week. Thank you! #TeamCap #4life
He also said my very best friends name ACTUALLY MEANING HER. It is amazing.
The Timely Waffle is back and goofier than ever! I mean, you didn't think it could get stranger but then it does. Join us as we discuss really important topics like animal print pants, our go to tv shows and giggle a lot. #Drunkahol is the new word of the day. Go find out why!
Go check out our website to find out more about our lovely little podcast, and make sure to keep up with our ridiculouslness on Twitter and Tumblr!
So I have been reviewing comic books for a few weeks and I realized I forgot to share the links over here just in case you want to track me around the internet! Which I mean, I think I am okay with. Just don't follow me in real life. That is a solid way to ask for a punch to the liver. I mean, I will go out of my way to google where your live is so I can punch it real good. ANYWAYS...
As I told you before I have been working on ComicPlug.com reviewing comic books each week. My most recent one was about Hades, who has become a vampire hunter and whose daughter has come back to life with some kind of sinister plot. It is called Hellchild. For my thoughts about it click on these words.
Action Lab is still my favourite one. It was so cute. Or Wynona Earp I liked her she seemed fun. I look forward to doing more and seeing what else is out there comic book wise!
So please be supportive of your favourite local weirdo, and read the words she writes in various places on the internet. Also, tell her she looks nice today. She sometimes needs to hear that, especially because most of the time it isn't true, but it would do a lot for her self esteem probably.
All the things on ComicPlug that I have written can be found HERE!
Dear Modcloth, Target, and other American Retailers with cute online stores,
I thought we had a deal. You would stop putting adorable things online until the Canadian dollar gets it shit together and I would wait patiently. If you don't cease and desist making the adorable clothing, furniture, and dorky things you will be causing a lot of heartbreak to some financially unstable young ladies in Canada.
The issue is, you post things for sale, including but not limited to: Dinosaur high waisted bathing suit bottoms, a Unicorn dress, vintage looking decor that would totally fit into my design aesthetic, and it takes all of my will power to not buy it.
I understand you are in the market of making money, however I need you to understand that everything costs nearly double for us, your northern neighbours. We already were unable to take advantage of free shipping and easy returns, but now with our below desirable exchange rate we are feeling a little bit left out.
So please, sweet retailers, we know you mean well, but please either start a Canadian counterpart store or stop making such adorable stuff.
Those of us fools who still shop online even though it is a disappointing mistake always.
(But I mean, don't actually stop making cute stuff because one day I will maybe win the lottery and then I can totally justify buying expensive stuff so I would like it to be ready okay?)