What kind of time machine,
Are you living in?
Mr. Stamos, you get more handsome,
Pretty much everyday.
It is really unfair,
And really weird.
Explain yourself sir,
You are a probably,
Into some dark margic.
By she I obviously mean me, but you knew that already because you are intelligent. Unless you aren't, which in that case, I can't help you because I am also not the brightest.
Anyways, so I finished Nanowrimo! I technically finished early, winning on the 28th. I then finished the story on the 29th and then decided to take a few days off from computering in my house. I mean, I obviously still have to write while I am at work given that, it's literally what they pay me to do (still weird btw) but i have been reading and sleeping on the couch and watching TV like my true sloth form.
It always feels good to be done. However I wish after all of these years I would really learn how to plan an exciting ending because as of right now, they are all pretty anticlimactic. Luckily no one has to read them (except me and only if I feel ike torturing myself).
I can edit, but who knows if I will. I mean, I know, and I probably won't. I will say I will, but chances are I won't. I should though. Maybe this year I will, who knows. I mean, it will depend on the quality of my internet connection over the coming months. That's a big factor.
Anyways, now that I am back you can look forward to more stupid content like you have come to excpect. Let's start it off right away shall we?
Classic Fancy Sweatpants game time!
PICK ONE FOR ADVICE AND INSIGHT:
Chocolate Sculpture Of Anne Hathaway
Buy yourself a blanket that is really fuzzy and keep it on the corner of your couch. Also, when a man with dark hair asks for directions, don't trust him, he once promised to buy someone a puppy and then didn't.
Cheese Diorama of Stars Hallow
Someone you know doesn't like chips even though they said they did. They are lying to you. Also you should buy rain boots. You deserve it.
Syrup Painting of the scene in lion king where scar is holding mufasa over the edge
Learn how to make a really good casserole, but never tell anyone the recipe. Also watch out for people who drive red smart cars. They secretly hate the environment and will totally blame it's downfall on you even though they secretly have been dumping hazardous waste into the lake near your house.
I thought I would update you all on my Nanowrimo progress so you don't think I died. Don't worry, I can't die. I am mostly inhuman as is it - like a solid 85% machine (i wish this were true).
Anyways, I passed the half way point of Nano last night, and will continue on that train any minute now once I get my shit together and stop watching YouTube videos that will 100% be there after I finish this book.
Halfway for those who don't know is 25,000 words in the month of November as the goal is 50,000 words. So far, my story has gone a weird way I wasn't expecting with a new character coming in and winning me over and then some other stuff happening. I don't really know how to get where I want to go, but I am working on it. Luckily, first drafts don't matter.
So what else has happened since I last was around? America did something stupid, letting the rest of us down, and also I did laundry. The two are very different in scale but somehow are the only things I can think of right now.
Oh! I also went to a Pet Expo. Let me tell you, if it wasn't clear that I was a crazy dog lady before that day, it is definitely clear to all of the city now. Big dogs, small dogs, squishy faces, pointy faces, fluffy, curly, wire hair, no hair, ugly, cute, old and young I literally love them all more than anything. Like, you can get rid of just about anything I own, and if I am holding a puppy I probably will not notice. I mean, unless it's any of my Harry Potter stuff then you better give it back or I will form a puppy army and get you. I think Crystal became aware of my true dog obsession as every single dog we passed I was required by law (Tanya law) to pet. Luckily she gets it, as she also loves dogs and also cats. We make for quite the pair of animal obsessed weirdos.
Anyways, I need to go write. Wish me luck!
24,907 remaining words to win.
When I need to do something that is for my own good, I tend to just... not.
We were hosting a Halloween gathering of sorts, and instead of figuring out a costume, I thought of EVERY costume I could do if I had enough time and instead ignored this years plans. Luckily for me, my last minute costume worked out. I found a captains hat and my ghetto homemade captain's cardigan allowed my to become the Undead Captain of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Yes, like the Gordon Lightfoot song.
Why? Because Dave insisted on being the Edmund Fitzgerald and I needed a costume. The options were, be a captain which is fine and can do fun things with that, or Dave's suggestion: Be a Shoal. AKA the rocks on the bottom of the ocean they suspect caused the Edmund Fitzgerald to sink. I went with captain.
Crystal helped me craft a boat, and watched me put on my new and improved eyebrows for like.. twenty minutes. I enjoyed having enormous eyebrows. I think I might just do it for fun now. Hello next family pictures look!
Now, as for my last few days where have I been? Attempting to write and then distracting myself with absolutely nothing. Like, I have found myself staring at dead bug smudges on the wall instead of writing. Oh Nanowrimo, every year I think I will go into and be super awesome at it, and yet every year it reminds me that my brain is a weird place.
I am only on chapter 2 and my plan is already completely off track. I have no idea what's going to happen now. I am a little afraid. It got weird. But I think it will be... fine. I mean that's why you never publish the first draft. I like one of my characters little quirks though. He likes to call the main character a different type of cheese every time he addresses her. I am running out of cheese types though.
I need to get back to writing, but I hope you all are well. Stick with me and hopefully I will get back on track updates wise!
I am currently in search of some readings for a wedding I am going to just in case I am required to read and all of them are very sappy. Here is what love really is:
Love means telling someone they have a booger hanging from their nose.
Love means laughing when they fart.
Love means making food when they are too tired.
And love means watching movies in your sweatpants.
Love means knowing the the brands of bacon to buy.
Love means tolerating the glitter on the floor.
Love means sharing socks when necessary.
And love means having the pizza ready when they get home.
Love takes time to build up,
And even more to perfect.
But it's worth it when you learn,
Your partners favourite chocolate.
It has been pointed out to me by my own brain, that I have been a bit frazzled attention span wise lately. I haven't even told you where you can find all my new stuff!
Shared.com is where I work now and they are lovely enough to let me write what ever craziness I want - I mean within reason, but that is why I still have you wonderful Fancy Sweatpants, for those thoughts and weird ramblings that are too weird for normal websites.
Anyways, should you wish to know what I have been up to here is the overwhelmingly disappointing insights you have been waiting for:
See, don't say I haven't accomplished anything! I am trying to email myself my crafting pictures, I made some bloody candles and some skull floral arrangements but my phone is being super rude so that might not be until tomorrow.
Hope you are all well, and seriously go to Shared.com and check out all the things I wrote! It would be very nice of you!
Have you ever wondered what the concept meetings look like for music videos? Especially music videos in the 90s? I have an example of how I think the meeting happened for Too Much by the Spice Girls, easily one of the weirdest music videos I know. Ready? Let's do this.
Too Much Music Video proposal Transcript
Gary: So, I have the perfect concept for the next Spice Girls video.
Bill: Okay Gary, Shoot.
Susan: Wait, is it going to have a story that will captivate the young audiences?
Denise: Yes, the last video your proposed to us that we used for the Backstreet Boys was so good we can't mess up.
Gary: Oh don't you worry, okay ready? We separate all the girls .
Susan: Okay... but half of their appeal is the group as a whole and the whole "Girl Power" thing as a team.
Gary: Susan, just listen. So after we show a firework over a war zone, we have Posh in a catsuit writhing beside a rocket ship wearing some type of cat ears. Then you show Scary wearing a scary necklace. Then Sporty should be wearing something that might be stylish at the time but is probably racially insensitive. Then Baby should be in a haunted house of sorts, and Ginger will be lost in time back in WWII.
Bill: Okay wait. So none of these stories are connected?
Gary: That's right.
Bill: Brilliant. Continue.
Gary: So each have their own little world. Scary is in a war, Posh with the rocket, Baby in a haunted house, Sporty in China, and Ginger still in the 1940s. They each sin their parts in their special little while we intersperse unrelated parts of their movie that is coming out because it's important to get that cross promotion going. Now using these other clips will save us money on new shoots and allow us to dump 80% of our budget on the explosions and special effects. Scary's war zone is exploding, Posh's rocket room is literally self imploding and Baby's bed is full on possessed. So it's important that noting actually resolves and their areas just end off with explosions. Except Ginger's, she should probably just hang out with some navy men.
Denise: Wow. Gary, that is really...
Bill: I mean, how can we even ..
Susan: It's garbage.
Gary: I know.
Susan: Perfect, get it into production.
watch The result below and see for yourself.
If life is a circus,
Your house is the tent,
Then your dogs are the elephants,
The clowns are your friends,
The acrobats are the are your favourite stars,
And you should be the ring leader.
So make your own circus,
Pick your own acts,
And rock the hell out that top hat.
We've all been there right? You watch Grease, or Mamma Mia or Chicago and you find yourself thinking, "Man, I would like to use songs to deal with my inexpressible emotions!" Or "Man, wouldn't it be nice if my lawyer would just sing a song to get me off of murder charges!" or "Man, I want Pierce Brosnan to yell to me from the bottom of a cliff, begging me to forgive him."
But alas, we can't all be that lucky. We have boring lawyers, Pierce doesn't know we exist and our emotions are repressed with layers of pizza and ice cream.
Wouldn't it be fun to learn HOW the people in the musical worlds do it though? Here are a few tricks to make your musical lives a little bit more likely.
Step One: Perfect Your Dreamy "Off in the distance" stare
You cannot start a musical number without first staring off into the distance and awaiting your musical cue. It is the most important part.
STEP TWO: Bring a BoomBox with you everywhere you go
You are going to need a bunch of instrumental songs all cued up so you can push play at any given moment. Try to prepare your CD with a range of happy, sad, romantic and sneaky. Those are the four most important emotions in a musical.
STEP THREE: Sing as loud as you can no matter the proximity to another human
Do you ever notice that in musicals they are singing full out even though the only person in the room is literally three inches from their face? That whit must get loud. But, if you want to live the life you have to embrace the life.
STEP FOUR: Force people to dance with you
A musical is nothing without a snappy dance number. The fact that they may not do the exact thing you are will not matter once the number of people included grows to the entire surrounding population. No one can judge you if they are all too busy dancing.
STEP FIVE: Learn to tune out the boos and hisses
Will you have some haters? Of course, who doesn't. There are at least 45 people who hate me at any given moment. I mean probably. I don't actually know because I tend to ignore everyone who isn't constantly showering me in compliments. But if you want to live in a musical you have to ignore everyone else. Unless they are the main villain in your story, then you will have to force them to sing their own song with a lot of minor chords. Work on that.
STEP SIX: Submit yourself willingly to all psychological assessments
I've learned that it's easier just to go with the flow and let the white coats ask you the questions. They will likely let you go because you are not a danger to anyone but your own self.
All you student types are heading back to school and you might be wondering, what will this year be like? Will you be pretty, will you be rich, this is what your blog writer tells you to be. You know the rules, pick one then scroll to see your destiny!
Pick One TO Learn Your School Year Destiny
You will have an impressive academic accomplishment in your third month, but more impressively you will learn how to make the most perfect bowl of Kraft Dinner.
Your crafting skills are going to reach new heights in March.
You will learn how to clean your room really well during midterms and your last paper of the year is going to get a solid A-.
Your cell phone bill is going to end up really high one month so maybe watch the Data. Also make sure you invest in a solid pair of sweatpants because you will need them.
You will fall for a rock star first semester, but in the second semester they will get signed to a fancy label and they will demand you be their muse and ask you to follow them on tour but you refuse. You have way too much to do with school and exams, so you break it off with them and they write an entire album in your honour.