I own a dog that I love very much however his obedience is sub-par. I wish to have a well trained dog but he sometimes just won't listen to me no matter what I try. I have read all the Dog Whisperer books but nothing works. Please help!
Dear Dog Dope,
Don't worry, everyone's dogs are usually pretty unreliable. From my understanding dogs are just an unpredictable creature that lives in your house and occasionally steals your cookies. Wait what? You say that most people's dogs are well behaved and don't even bark for no reason? And that their dog's don't sometimes pee inside their owner's shoes? I am sorry I will have to excuse myself while I go sell a kidney to pay for obedience school for my dogs.
If you would like a tip, don't do anything I do. My dogs are the worst.
(But I love them more than anything).