Here would be a sample conversation:
Winston: Um, woman. you left. Can you please come back now?
Me: I am at work what do you need?
Winston: Well you see, I heard a noise outside and I am pretty sure the world ended so I need you to come hug me.
Me: The world isn't over, it was probably just a car door or something.
Winston: Car ride! Oh God HURRY UP I NEED TO GO NOW!
Me: No, we aren't going anywhere, I am not even there. Calm down, take a nap.
Winston: I AM STARVING.
Me: You already ate, Winston. You can last until I get home.
Winston: I am pretty sure I will perish before you get home woman, it was a delight to pee in your shoes, I am sure you will miss my presence and regret abandoning me.
Me: You peed in my shoes?
Winston: I am sorry did you need me? Did I tell you the world ended? Can you come hug me?
Me: Winston, did you pee in my shoes?
Winston: I don't think you understand how badly I need a hug.
Me: I will be home in an hour.
Winston: Good, you can then feed me. And clean you shoes they smell like pee.
On the plus side, I would never be stuck in an awkward social situation without someone to text. It isn't like he is going to be hanging out with other friends, or at the movies. He would always be available to chat with. Is that sad? I love my stupid dog okay. He is great.