To continue life's cosmic joke that is my current employment, I am being forced to pick a new employee to replace one that is leaving. The thing about that is, I am being forced to interact with strangers, no, correction, I am being forced to interact with humans with the intention of making a decision about them.
If you ever saw me try to decide anything you would understand why it is the funniest thing in the entire world. Or, better yet if you ever saw me trying to interact with humans, you would really know that this is a mistake.
Here is an example that is probably almost to the word exactly how a decision I was faced with ended up.
Crystal (Tanya's Best Friend): Hey where should we order pizza from?
Tanya: I don't know, you decide.
Crystal: No, you came all the way out here and I picked last time, you pick.
Tanya: What are the options?
Crystal: *lists all options*
Tanya: Okay, so, which do you like?
Crystal: No, dude seriously, I said you pick. You need to learn to make basic decisions in life. How will you ever amount to anything. (mild exaggeration on the interaction probably, she knows better than to pretend I will ever amount to anything)
Tanya: *internal combustion*
Crystal: Are you dead?
Tanya: *high pitched noises emitting from brain*
So as you can see, the idea that I am required to make a decision is beyond ridiculous.
I also am just beyond bored with the questions I have to ask. Mostly because if I had it my way, I could ask probably 5 questions that would easily answer who I should hire.
Questions I wish I could ask:
Please leave your answers in the comments below, I will keep your responses on file for the inevitable day that I will need someone trust worthy to have at my side due to my immense success.