I took the weekend to not write any stupid nonsense that you all love so much, and then when I tried to get back into it on Monday, it WOULD NOT LOAD!
I apologize for the inconvenience to your entertainment schedule. I shall be back with regular nonsense for you as much as possible. In honour of my goofy little cousin whom I know enjoys the "Pick One" games, I have one of those for you. So please Pick One. Share it with your friends and Tag which ones you are #fancysweatpants
WHY WON't YOUR COMPUTER LOAD?
A tiny but evil elf has made it's home in your computer, causing the wires to get overwhelmed by the added weight of his body as he uses it as a hammock.
CRACK TACO SHELL
Dude when was the last time you paid your internet bill? They shut that shit down three weeks ago.
Your dog peed on your modem. You are going to need a new modem and probably a better dog. Or Doggy Diapers. Those exist, look it up.
15 CARDBOARD CUTOUTS OF WILLIAM SHATNER
The internet took a vote, you are too weird for it. Please re-evaluate your life and reapply in three to four weeks.
A wild boar got into your internet service provider's office. It injured many people but no one has been able to call for help. The only person who is uninjured is linked in a room with no phone, only the speed and quality buttons and is frantically pressing them on and off in hopes that someone will eventually be so mad they will come down and realize the situation and help all the people who have been maimed by this vicious creature.
PS- Do you want to know the true irony of this post? As I went to go to post it it freaked out and wouldn't load and then I lost a chunk of it. THANKS INTERNET! I am sure you will survive the boar attacks, please stop inconveniencing my life ever so slightly so that someone will come help you. We all know it wouldn't be me. I don't ... go places.