By she I obviously mean me, but you knew that already because you are intelligent. Unless you aren't, which in that case, I can't help you because I am also not the brightest.
Anyways, so I finished Nanowrimo! I technically finished early, winning on the 28th. I then finished the story on the 29th and then decided to take a few days off from computering in my house. I mean, I obviously still have to write while I am at work given that, it's literally what they pay me to do (still weird btw) but i have been reading and sleeping on the couch and watching TV like my true sloth form.
It always feels good to be done. However I wish after all of these years I would really learn how to plan an exciting ending because as of right now, they are all pretty anticlimactic. Luckily no one has to read them (except me and only if I feel ike torturing myself).
I can edit, but who knows if I will. I mean, I know, and I probably won't. I will say I will, but chances are I won't. I should though. Maybe this year I will, who knows. I mean, it will depend on the quality of my internet connection over the coming months. That's a big factor.
Anyways, now that I am back you can look forward to more stupid content like you have come to excpect. Let's start it off right away shall we?
Classic Fancy Sweatpants game time!
PICK ONE FOR ADVICE AND INSIGHT:
Chocolate Sculpture Of Anne Hathaway
Buy yourself a blanket that is really fuzzy and keep it on the corner of your couch. Also, when a man with dark hair asks for directions, don't trust him, he once promised to buy someone a puppy and then didn't.
Cheese Diorama of Stars Hallow
Someone you know doesn't like chips even though they said they did. They are lying to you. Also you should buy rain boots. You deserve it.
Syrup Painting of the scene in lion king where scar is holding mufasa over the edge
Learn how to make a really good casserole, but never tell anyone the recipe. Also watch out for people who drive red smart cars. They secretly hate the environment and will totally blame it's downfall on you even though they secretly have been dumping hazardous waste into the lake near your house.
I thought I would update you all on my Nanowrimo progress so you don't think I died. Don't worry, I can't die. I am mostly inhuman as is it - like a solid 85% machine (i wish this were true).
Anyways, I passed the half way point of Nano last night, and will continue on that train any minute now once I get my shit together and stop watching YouTube videos that will 100% be there after I finish this book.
Halfway for those who don't know is 25,000 words in the month of November as the goal is 50,000 words. So far, my story has gone a weird way I wasn't expecting with a new character coming in and winning me over and then some other stuff happening. I don't really know how to get where I want to go, but I am working on it. Luckily, first drafts don't matter.
So what else has happened since I last was around? America did something stupid, letting the rest of us down, and also I did laundry. The two are very different in scale but somehow are the only things I can think of right now.
Oh! I also went to a Pet Expo. Let me tell you, if it wasn't clear that I was a crazy dog lady before that day, it is definitely clear to all of the city now. Big dogs, small dogs, squishy faces, pointy faces, fluffy, curly, wire hair, no hair, ugly, cute, old and young I literally love them all more than anything. Like, you can get rid of just about anything I own, and if I am holding a puppy I probably will not notice. I mean, unless it's any of my Harry Potter stuff then you better give it back or I will form a puppy army and get you. I think Crystal became aware of my true dog obsession as every single dog we passed I was required by law (Tanya law) to pet. Luckily she gets it, as she also loves dogs and also cats. We make for quite the pair of animal obsessed weirdos.
Anyways, I need to go write. Wish me luck!
24,907 remaining words to win.
When I need to do something that is for my own good, I tend to just... not.
We were hosting a Halloween gathering of sorts, and instead of figuring out a costume, I thought of EVERY costume I could do if I had enough time and instead ignored this years plans. Luckily for me, my last minute costume worked out. I found a captains hat and my ghetto homemade captain's cardigan allowed my to become the Undead Captain of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Yes, like the Gordon Lightfoot song.
Why? Because Dave insisted on being the Edmund Fitzgerald and I needed a costume. The options were, be a captain which is fine and can do fun things with that, or Dave's suggestion: Be a Shoal. AKA the rocks on the bottom of the ocean they suspect caused the Edmund Fitzgerald to sink. I went with captain.
Crystal helped me craft a boat, and watched me put on my new and improved eyebrows for like.. twenty minutes. I enjoyed having enormous eyebrows. I think I might just do it for fun now. Hello next family pictures look!
Now, as for my last few days where have I been? Attempting to write and then distracting myself with absolutely nothing. Like, I have found myself staring at dead bug smudges on the wall instead of writing. Oh Nanowrimo, every year I think I will go into and be super awesome at it, and yet every year it reminds me that my brain is a weird place.
I am only on chapter 2 and my plan is already completely off track. I have no idea what's going to happen now. I am a little afraid. It got weird. But I think it will be... fine. I mean that's why you never publish the first draft. I like one of my characters little quirks though. He likes to call the main character a different type of cheese every time he addresses her. I am running out of cheese types though.
I need to get back to writing, but I hope you all are well. Stick with me and hopefully I will get back on track updates wise!
Are you introverted? I sure am. I am about as introverted as possible. Now, I have this technique to manage events with a lot of people and it maybe is not the best... When I am around a lot of people, my introvert brain tries to pull the old Over-Correct. Here is the scientific explanation of this condition.
The Introvert OvER-Correct
When faced with a situation where you are going to need to interact with humans, you must discretely hide your fear by being as loud and excitable as possible. This may however, cause people to think you are much drunker than you are. It's fine though, no one cares really, and you embarrass yourself sober anyways so it doesn't really matter.
Moral of the story kids is that interacting with humans is hard but if you fore yourself to do it every once and a while you will find a group of people to scream sing bohemian rhapsody and the fresh prince of bell air with and it will be great.
I have no idea what to be for Halloween. Halloween is supposed to be fun but it just stresses me out. For someone who pretends like they are creative, I seem to be having exactly zero ideas.
What I have done is make a zombie out of a Barbie. That was a fun use of a Friday night.
If anyone has ANY ideas for me please let me know! Leave a comment, tweet me, tumblr, pinterest, instagram, smoke signals, morse code, telegram, anything. Please help.
I am currently in search of some readings for a wedding I am going to just in case I am required to read and all of them are very sappy. Here is what love really is:
Love means telling someone they have a booger hanging from their nose.
Love means laughing when they fart.
Love means making food when they are too tired.
And love means watching movies in your sweatpants.
Love means knowing the the brands of bacon to buy.
Love means tolerating the glitter on the floor.
Love means sharing socks when necessary.
And love means having the pizza ready when they get home.
Love takes time to build up,
And even more to perfect.
But it's worth it when you learn,
Your partners favourite chocolate.
It has been pointed out to me by my own brain, that I have been a bit frazzled attention span wise lately. I haven't even told you where you can find all my new stuff!
Shared.com is where I work now and they are lovely enough to let me write what ever craziness I want - I mean within reason, but that is why I still have you wonderful Fancy Sweatpants, for those thoughts and weird ramblings that are too weird for normal websites.
Anyways, should you wish to know what I have been up to here is the overwhelmingly disappointing insights you have been waiting for:
See, don't say I haven't accomplished anything! I am trying to email myself my crafting pictures, I made some bloody candles and some skull floral arrangements but my phone is being super rude so that might not be until tomorrow.
Hope you are all well, and seriously go to Shared.com and check out all the things I wrote! It would be very nice of you!
Have you ever wondered what the concept meetings look like for music videos? Especially music videos in the 90s? I have an example of how I think the meeting happened for Too Much by the Spice Girls, easily one of the weirdest music videos I know. Ready? Let's do this.
Too Much Music Video proposal Transcript
Gary: So, I have the perfect concept for the next Spice Girls video.
Bill: Okay Gary, Shoot.
Susan: Wait, is it going to have a story that will captivate the young audiences?
Denise: Yes, the last video your proposed to us that we used for the Backstreet Boys was so good we can't mess up.
Gary: Oh don't you worry, okay ready? We separate all the girls .
Susan: Okay... but half of their appeal is the group as a whole and the whole "Girl Power" thing as a team.
Gary: Susan, just listen. So after we show a firework over a war zone, we have Posh in a catsuit writhing beside a rocket ship wearing some type of cat ears. Then you show Scary wearing a scary necklace. Then Sporty should be wearing something that might be stylish at the time but is probably racially insensitive. Then Baby should be in a haunted house of sorts, and Ginger will be lost in time back in WWII.
Bill: Okay wait. So none of these stories are connected?
Gary: That's right.
Bill: Brilliant. Continue.
Gary: So each have their own little world. Scary is in a war, Posh with the rocket, Baby in a haunted house, Sporty in China, and Ginger still in the 1940s. They each sin their parts in their special little while we intersperse unrelated parts of their movie that is coming out because it's important to get that cross promotion going. Now using these other clips will save us money on new shoots and allow us to dump 80% of our budget on the explosions and special effects. Scary's war zone is exploding, Posh's rocket room is literally self imploding and Baby's bed is full on possessed. So it's important that noting actually resolves and their areas just end off with explosions. Except Ginger's, she should probably just hang out with some navy men.
Denise: Wow. Gary, that is really...
Bill: I mean, how can we even ..
Susan: It's garbage.
Gary: I know.
Susan: Perfect, get it into production.
watch The result below and see for yourself.
Winston: HEY! WAKE UP!
Me: No. It's 4 in the morning. Go away.
Winston: But I want food and I want to go pee and I want peanut butter and I want to dance a million dances before the sun comes up!
Me: NO. It's early.
Winston: Alright if that's how it's going to be... *STANDS ON TANYA'S BODY*
Me: Ouch... get off of me!
Winston: *flops down and spreads his body across mine* NO! Take me outside.
Me: FINE! God. So there, out you go.
Winston: Hang on, what's that?
Me: It's lightly drizzling. Go anyways.
Winston: No thanks. Bed time!
*FIVE MINUTES PASS*
Winston: I WANT TO GO PEE!
Me: We just did this it's raining.
Winston: No it's not don't be mean, take me.
Me: UGH fine.
*it's still raining*
Winston: It's raining.
Me: Yes, as I told you.
Winston: Make it stop.
Me: Can't, my weather powers don't wake up until 10:30am.
Winston: Don't be a jerk. Make it stop.
Me: I literally cannot. Just go pee dude it's not going to kill you.
Winston: I MIGHT DROWN!
Me: I 100% guarantee you will not.
Me: GO PEE DAMNIT!
Winston: Come with me, I'm frightened.
Me: You know, some days I really dislike you.
Winston: I love you too!
My website tried to change its layouts and when I tried to figure it out I ended up looking like a fool. How do I fix it?
Dear Disaster Designer,
I am right there with you dude. They changed the layouts here and now I don't know what I did but I can't change things. Here are some suggestions that the internet has given me for improving your things.
1. Host a really good podcast that gets sponsored by Squarespace. I am not sponsered... YET. But squarespace if you want to sponser the Timely Waffle we just recorded our first episode in a long time so obviously you should check us out and help us out.
2. Get a really good nerdy friend. According to TV and movies one of the people in your friend group is already a crazy hacker or computer wiz. Trick them with candies and pizzas to build you a better site.
3. Give up and go with what ever option is the least awful of the premade templates.
Hope that helps!
PS: If anyone can actually just explain to me how to fix this... that would be solid. Unless we all are satisfied with the new look then it can stay. Please let me know!